Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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