we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
is wine microwaveable?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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