your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
