I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize