I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
