I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
