who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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