she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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