Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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