i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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