Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
