Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
