Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
