Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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