got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
