I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
