I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i out mim tonsoeep
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