Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
