maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My feet surprised me
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