I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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