week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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