We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
