you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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