he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
