He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
