Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
