Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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