just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
