I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
