Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
