Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
