after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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