So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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