A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
