"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
