hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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