theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
