I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
