Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
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Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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