I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
