just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
a search helicopter?!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
