what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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