I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
