ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
