tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You just missed an honest to god bukkake