the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
