I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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