The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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