we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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