$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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