I'm so fucking centered right now
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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