The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
