i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize