The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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