yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
