That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
