goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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