Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
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We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
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You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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