I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
