well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
